Ink Stains and Empty Teacups

My mother has Twittter.


Iamsoveryscrewed.

...You should most definitely not eavesdrop when you stepfather tells your aunt that a glitch in his internet capper means that it won't come into effect at the allotted time if you are still on the internet at the cut-off time. TAKE THAT, B.T.

Also, a question for the flist : When the Clinique lady said the skin sat comfortably on my cheeks, should I have taken it as an insult? Especially when she asked if I used anti-wrinkle cream (I'M IN COLLEGE, FFS)?

Today has just been one colossal case of opening One's mouth merely to change feet.

I may or may not have mentioned in passing conversation that Dad wants to start up a pension fund for me and my sisters.

This was not a good idea.

Ma went absolutely bugnuts monkeyfuck insane. And is now angsting like a damsel wronged because she now won't be able to get within 20 years of said money.

...Ooops?

IT'S SNOWING!

(I may or may not be whistling the entire soundtrack to 'White Christmas' and 'Holiday Inn' as I type)

God, I love snow!

What I love more? The British reaction, which roughly translates as OMGWTFBBQSNOWSNOWSNOWITSWHITEANDSNOWYSTOPEVERYTHINWEMUSTSTOPALLTHETHINGS!

Seriously, what other nation IN THE WORLD effectively shuts down until things un-freeze? Everyone else recognizes that yes, snow is cold, yes it makes driving slightly more interesting but as long as you have proper winter tyres and don't drive like the recently lobotomized, it isn't actually the end of the world.

But it does mean that I now have a valid reason to wear my jingle bell socks and hibernate under my duvet inbetween lobbing snowballs at unfortunate passers-by (read: my family).

Merry Christmas, folks.

'Oh the weather outside is frightful, but the fire is so delightful, since we've no place to go-o, let it snow, let it snow. let it snow...'

Is there anything more embarassing in this life, barring mothers who adjust their teenage daughters busts in PUBLIC (yes, I mean you, Ma), than your elderly grandmother talking about AND OFFERING YOU HER BRA'S.

I love my grandma to pieces, I really do, but somedays I would quite happily, nay cheerily! abandon her on a very remote island all by her lonesome.

More to the point, why does she think I'll want them?

I fully hold my aunt responsible for the fact that despite the glorious day outside, I have been glued to my laptop ( not revising for the HUGE AND VERY IMPORTANT EXAM on Tuesday) I have been Youtube-ing my tiny heart out because I've suddenyl discovered a serious need for Inspector Lewis and the dishy Sergeant Hathaway.

And whilst I'm on the subject; Oh, Hathaway.

Swetheart has finally learnt her lesson on cutting with knives and finger placement, and a rather painful lesson at that.