Ink Stains and Empty Teacups

1. Fracture your tailbone falling down a flight of stairs on your arse. It hurts like a motherfucker, I don not recommend you try this a home, folks.

2. Because you are in pain when you move and are consequently grouchy, choose now to stand up to your mother as she's laying into to you. Especially not the night before you're due to join her for Christmas.

Merry holidays, y'all.